Hurt People Do Hurt People

Hurt People, Hurt People

It is an old adage that “hurt people hurt people.”

It is well known that those who have been emotionally damaged tend to inflict their hurt and pain on other people. For example, a large percentage of those who have been sexually abused become the abusers of others; those who suffered under an alcoholic parent often themselves cause their future family to suffer because of their drunken stupors.

The following are common traits hurt people display in their interactions with others.

  1. Hurt people often transfer their inner anger onto their family and close friends
  • Hurt people interpret every word spoken and action taken is seen through the prism of their pain
  • Hurt people often portray themselves in a victim or suspicious spirit
  • Hurt people often alienate others and wonder why no one is there for them
  • Hurt people have the emotional maturity of the age they received their (un-dealt with) hurt
  • Hurt people are often triggered frustrated and depressed because they bring their past pain into their present situation (definition of a trigger).
  • Hurt people often erupt with inappropriate emotion because particular words, actions, or circumstances “touch” and “trigger” past woundedness
  • Hurt people often occupy themselves with busyness, work, performance, and/or accomplishments as a way of compensating for low self-esteem
  • Hurt people often attempt to medicate themselves with excessive entertainment, drugs, alcohol, pornography, sexual relationships, or hobbies as a way to forget their pain and run from reality
  1. Hurt people have learned to mask their true selves and lack integrity
  1. Hurt people are often self-absorbed with their own pain and are unaware that they are hurting other people

Hurt people need to let go of the past, work through their pain and restored to freedom

Now if you read this list and thought “this explains why others have hurt me”, I would encourage you to read the reverse side of this.

This exercise is not meant to be an opportunity to condemn yourself, but rather raise awareness of having harm stop from one generation to the next.

The following are common traits I display/have displayed in my interactions with others:

  1. I transfer my inner anger onto my family and close friends.
  • I interpret every word spoken and action taken through the prism of my pain.
  • I portray myself in a victim or suspicious spirit.
  • I alienate others and wonder why no one is there for me.
  • I have the emotional maturity of the age I received my (un-dealt with) hurt.
  • I am triggered, frustrated and depressed because I bring my past pain into my present situation (definition of a trigger).
  • I erupt with inappropriate emotion because particular words, actions, or circumstances “touch” and “trigger” past woundedness.
  • I occupy myself with busyness, work, performance, and/or accomplishments as a way of compensating for low self-esteem.
  • I have attempted or attempt to medicate myself with excessive entertainment, drugs, alcohol, food, pornography, sexual relationships, or hobbies as a way to forget my pain and run from reality.
  1. I have learned to mask my true self and lack integrity.
  1. I am self-absorbed with my own pain and unaware that I am hurting other people.

I need to let go of the past, work through my pain and be restored to freedom.

Stay in recovery, these will decrease with awareness and action.

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